The
Messengers Touch – The Open Door
While walking from
my friends and their celebration of my return I was approached by a messenger.
He looked just like anyone else but when he began to speak I knew inwardly who
he was. The messenger asked if I would like to tell others of my sojourn and I said
I would. He told me he had access to the record of all activity in Home
including all of my experiences in the Anomaly. The messenger said if I wish he
could bring anything to my awareness he found helpful. He asked if I wished to
recall my experiences in the Anomaly, and I said I did.
The Anomaly, I have found, is not a single state but one
that gradually increases in density. I
find it helpful to visualize this as layers progressing from fine to dense.
Consequently, form in the Anomaly becomes gradually denser. Experience in the
Anomaly has taught me not all of me is of the same density. My mind, for
example is of much finer substance than my body as are the electrical impulses
that travel along my nervous system. So I exist in the Anomaly on several
levels. Even in matter, there is energy, gaseous and solid, all existing
simultaneously and often interchanging.
Previously I mentioned my experiential self and my
motivational self. I would like to emphasize that my motivational self is the
me that exists in Home, the me that entered the Anomaly and the me that will
return to Home following my visit. Its form is comprised of the substance of
Home. My experiential self exists completely in the Anomaly and consists of the
finer substance of the Anomaly. My motivational self exists first immediately
adjacent to my experiential self and through a process similar to absorption
functions through my experiential self. This union of both parts of me I call
my mind.
Consciousness in the Anomaly is a state of awareness. It
is real, containing form permeating the first stage or finest form of the
Anomaly. I would not be far afield if I said the first stage of the Anomaly is
comprised almost entirely of consciousness. What we in the Anomaly conceive as
motivation, values, desires and fears all exist in consciousness. Likewise the
result of all experiences in the Anomaly exists in consciousness and although
the circumstances may have long ago dissipated the living record of them continues
to exist here in full force. Nothing is lost no act, no thought, no emotion;
they all live on as long as consciousness does. Those guiding forces I call
patterns permeate consciousness from Home drawing form both mental and physical
form into conformity with them.
Love and indifference are the primary motivating forces
in the Anomaly and it surprised me how often I moved from one state to the
other never realizing the change taking place. The first or primal expression
of each to imbue consciousness in the Anomaly is faith and fear. There is as
much faith as there is fear in the Anomaly and neither can be completely
avoided. Here is where choice plays an important role to determine how often we
will swing from one state to the other and the length of time we will spend in
each. Although at the bottom of the pit of consciousness, fear, I have found is
a useful tool in the struggle for the intense focus available in the Anomaly. However
we often let this tool we call fear to rule our lives.
I suppose one of the greatest benefits to be found in fear
is that it allows us a place to step aside and inspect the fullness of faith
from what seems like an outside perspective. Also, we grow first from our
choices and then by expressing them. I find without the possibility of fear how
could we continue to choose faith. If we faced no alternative of what benefit
would our choice be to us. Each time we choose faith we have the opportunity for
immeasurable growth through expressing it in our affairs. Because all things
are transient in the Anomaly if we choose faith only once and for all it will
eventually lose its vibrancy. Each time
we choose we add a special energy to our consciousness that we utilize when we
finally express these choices. However, the energy once used must be renewed by
continuously choosing. In this way we grow choice by choice.
Because of their primacy there is no escaping faith and
fear in the Anomaly. What I did not before consider is if we are not expressing
faith we are expressing fear. There appears no middle ground and if we do not
choose faith then fear becomes our default condition. It appears to me that we
have a well that is constantly being filled and if we do not fill it with
faith, fear will naturally flow in. In the Anomaly we discuss the many kinds of
fear but there is only one kind. All the rest categorize how we express fear. There
are so many categories of how we express fear in the Anomaly I could list
dozens of them. Faith connects us with our source and builds within us those
living patterns for perfection. The energy of which faith is comprised pulls us
in to conformity with those patterns. Fear, simply put, is the absence of
faith.
Life, I have found, is infinite and there is no lack of
anything but fear leads us to the opposite conclusion. I have experienced the
very first stage of fear in the Anomaly which is a feeling of separation. This
is the result of the isolation felt by the loss of faith. Separation leads to
feelings of lack which are expressed as lack of love, lack of supply, lack of
friendship and lack of opportunity. Also, feelings of lack sponsor destructive
behavior such as worry, greed, pride and dishonesty in all forms.
Our children are born without the ability to consciously
choose between faith and fear. Although they are filled with equal amounts of
each, they do not yet know how to activate one or the other. Faith being
dominant will of consequence rule the child. I find early on, because we have
come to believe fear is a good learning tool, we awaken it in our children even
in their infancy. Through repetition we become habitually fearful and fear
dependent. It has been my experience in the Anomaly that we are vibrant growing
sentient life forms destined to be much more than victims of circumstance.
Infinite mercy would mean very little if we could not make a miracle out of our
greatest fears. The presence of fear in our lives has within it the promise of
perfection through transformation.
We cannot reverse the cycle of fear by combating those
things that make us afraid. Fearful as conditions may appear to be they are
simply triggers that excite the fear already within us. If we wish to change we
must deal with the fear itself and not only what awakened it. Although there
are many expressions of fear there is only one way to combat it. The presence
of faith will drive out fear and give it no place to take hold. Each time we
choose faith we are filled with the energy necessary to express it, and with
each expression we drive out fear from our lives. However, as I previously mentioned,
in the Anomaly this energy dissipates and we must renew our acts of faith
continuously. It has been my experience we can choose to or choose not to
confront those things that make us afraid, but to change we must act in faith
driving out those fundamental forces that make us afraid. However, I cannot overestimate the value of
meeting those conditions that excite fear in the Anomaly. Each time we confront
those things that have awakened fear within us we have the opportunity to experience
extraordinary acts of courage. As a result we build character and leave an
indelible mark on our motivational self that lives on long after the act
itself.
Feelings of separation are the sponsor of all other fears
and haunt all of us in the Anomaly to one degree or the other. Fear of death,
rises directly from our fear of separation and influences all of us living in
the Anomaly. How we live our lives on a daily basis is influenced greatly by
our attitude toward death. Life in the Anomaly is cyclical and all livings
thing die. The Anomaly exists for the
benefit of our experience and not for our permanent residence. Yet, once so
embodied we become so fixated on form we often dread our eventual release of
it.
Death as I understand it is a transition, the same as is
birth. Each is a doorway with one leading in and the other leading out. We did not come into existence upon birth and
we certainly do not cease to exist after we die. We make much preparation
before stepping in to the Anomaly and the same amount before we step out.
However, we are largely unaware in the Anomaly of our preparation to depart
because it is conducted by our motivational self. At some point after the
middle of our experience in the Anomaly, it varies with individuals, we begin
to release out grip on form. We do this slowly, carefully and methodically
until our experiential self is no longer fixed on form. Our experiential self
is aware of something happening but has no idea what it is. Many of us
gradually lose interest in things, grow closer to others and believe it is the
result of a matured perspective. Maturing is a factor but in later life the
experience is largely to assist our transition. We could not resume a healthy
life in Home if we were still fixed on the Anomaly without the means to express
those passions. For it is from Home we come, to Home we return and Home we are
made of. As we prepare, ever so gradually we change internally until we take
that small step to release our hold on form. If our experiential transient self
were aware of these preparations fear would most likely make them exceedingly
difficult.
It may appear we leave unexpectedly but that simply does
not happen. No matter the circumstances surrounding our departure, our
motivational self will be neither surprised nor unprepared. We can keep no secrets from our motivational
self and this part of us deals exceedingly well with potential. We witness all
of the causes in our life, direct and indirect, and we can easily determine the
results. For whether we are prepared to accept it or not our use of cause and
effect has determined the course of future.
I
have learned there are those times when our experiential self chooses to
dominate and refuses direction from our mental self. When this occurs,
resulting in death such as our prematurely terminating our life without
sufficient preparation, our transition can become far more traumatic than necessary.
However, I am certain we will eventually adjust. The law of mercy is present always in the
Anomaly to insure that no experience is more than we can handle at any given
time. We may choose to ignore mercy and cut short any experience we wish. After
our adjustment and recovery we are free to return to the Anomaly at any time to
complete any unfinished business. I do not want to understate the difficulty
experienced when our transition is made without sufficient preparation but I
also do not wish to imply we will not fully recover from such a choice. I have
complete faith in infinite mercy and in all eternity I have never met anyone
that did not eventually adjust after returning to Home.
This final step is so small yet from an Anomaly
perspective it is so large. We release our grip on form, stepping out and we
are once again alive and aware in the splendor of Home. At first it is like
waking up from a foggy dream being absolutely amazed by the clarity of all we
behold. The feeling of freedom is indescribable while the sounds are musical,
the sights are beautiful and our surroundings majestic. The fears are gone as
are the limits of time and space. I can recall all of this vividly because of
the Messenger’s touch but it is not common to most of us that return from a
visit to the Anomaly. For those of us that may have been touched by the
Messenger we can remember our experiences with a clarity never before
experienced in the Anomaly. However, we
soon consign them to a dim memory because they no longer serve us well. The reason
for visiting the Anomaly is to better understand our individuality so we can
have a greater appreciation of our uniqueness even as we are one with all
things. Once we grow there is no reason to retain these things in the forepart
of our consciousness. In Anomaly terms, it would be similar to learning how to
drive an automobile, once we are proficient and we have become excellent
drivers it is no longer necessary to recall the individual driving lessons.
Once we have internalized the uniqueness of our individuality it is no longer
necessary to retain in the front of our memory the conditions that enabled
this.
The joy of returning to Home is so overwhelming it is
almost impossible to reconcile with the debilitating fear of death I
experienced in the Anomaly. The final step out was so small and the change so
large it is difficult to measure the difference in size. Yet, I am at Home and
no matter how many times I venture out, no matter where my adventures take me,
I will still return to its eternal embrace.
The Messenger touched my upper lip with his
finger, right beneath my nose, ever so gently and suddenly I relived with
incredible clarity every single thing I experienced in the Anomaly. Not only
was it clearer to me now than it was then but I can remember each and every
emotion I experienced. Just then the messenger vanished and I have not seen him
since.
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