The Messengers Touch


My friends all ran toward me. They were hugging and kissing me saying how delighted they were to welcome me home. How odd that sounded, I had not been away nor could I remember having gone anywhere special. Without speaking a word I wondered where I had been and for how long I was gone. In their joy they told me, I had not gone anywhere - not even an inch, and I was never away - not even for a moment. This bizarre scene is both the beginning and ending of my story. 

It is an incredibly beautiful day. The world around us is brightly lit, the textures as well as the hues are stunning and the natural beauty of our surroundings is overwhelming. The fields of grass are punctuated by the majesty of the giant trees that dot the landscape before us. The colors of the flowers delight the senses while their fragrance rises like a perfume to become absolutely intoxicating. The many sounds of life seem to blend together in a musical symphony and every new sound adds to the harmonies that embrace us. How interesting, the light is everywhere but does not seem to originate anywhere. The landscape before us has no discernable beginning or end but it seems to go on in all directions forever. The music is ever present and although the activities around us add to the harmonies they are not the source of this symphony. There seems to be a single dominant mood that I can only describe as joy. People are everywhere but it never seems crowded. Everyone is doing something, some are interacting with others and some, but very few, are by themselves. I do not believe this place has ever had a name other than Home and no one has ever called it anything else.

Here at Home we spend our days in a variety of ways. We work, we play, we rest, we exercise and we study. Most all of these activities are done in groups interacting with one another.

At work we begin with a motive, a desire or an image of what we want. Often it is something for our community. Instantly we see the beginning, the process and the end. Our imaginations are incredibly acute so when we picture the process a blue print is formed that we call a pattern. In this way we image every step of the process from beginning to end. Then our work is simply to construct or express the pattern we have imaged for our use. Perfection in the process of expressing the pattern gives us indescribable joy. As a result we are all devoted to the process in everything. Here at Home no one ever hurries or takes short cuts because that would sacrifice the process, the application of which gives us so much pleasure. In this way, we neither desire nor require results but we remain devoted to process. In the application of the process, excellence is our main if not only objective.

Play is universal and also done in groups. We are not competitive but cooperative in the exercise of our physical and mental attributes. In group events we all play a part and the object is not to win but to participate. Here we aspire to bring out the best in others. In this way we are all winners and there are no losers. Play is joyful and most gratifying when we see the pleasure experienced by all of the participants.

Ah, rest. There is the most common form of rest where we simply breathe rhythmically. This brings about a renewal of our bodies and minds. Often we stop other activity when we rest, in this way we can focus upon the energizing benefits of our actions. On occasion, when we have spent all of our energies and require intense rest we simply shut down. We do not go anywhere, we do nothing special physically but we mentally shut down. At such times we can absorb and accumulate large amounts of energy until our rest period is over. However, the breathing exercises are sufficient for most of us much of the time.

Exercise for us consists of repetitive activities both a physical and mental. Exercise, like most other activities is performed in groups and designed to stretch our abilities. There are those in the group that are directors and those that are participants. The directors rotate so that everyone has the opportunity to serve the rest of us in this way. Here too, the process is of paramount importance; consequently we neither exercise in excess nor injure our self. 

Study is interesting. We do not read books or work with implements of any kind but we do attend lectures. On occasion there is someone particularly inspiring speaking but most of the time we simply hear the lesson inwardly. We call this introspection and we gain far more knowledge in this way than any other. Through this process, we not only hear what is being given but we experience it as well. We sit in groups while allowing our minds focus on the lesson and we each receive all that we need. Because our lessons are so well balanced, containing equal amounts of inspiration and information there is never a danger of becoming disinterested or bored.

Knowledge must be experienced before it can become wisdom. In Home all knowledge is wisdom imbued. This is so because experience is contained within all knowledge and the two are inseparable. We do not seek knowledge as an exercise or to simply acquire and store it and we seek it out only when we need it to use it. If wisdom were a bridge spanning a deep chasm, need and use would support and anchor it on each end.

Our memory is very limited, not that we do not remember, we simply do not memorize anything because we do not have to. To recall an experience at Home is to relive it in an instant. And we relive it with an intensity equal to or greater than the original experience. Our instincts are so sharp that we know how to do things without having to remember the process. We do not have to recall how we or anyone else did something because we instinctively know each and every time.

We enjoy an intimate relationship with family and friends that exceeds that of familiarity. There seems to be a force that binds us, strongest to family and friends, lesser to community, and lesser still to everyone living in Home. I have emphasized the group aspects of our daily affairs but we do grow as individuals. We have individual likes and dislikes we call attraction and repulsion. We question what we do not understand and above all we aspire to be better than we are. Although the process is one of perfecting our activities, our imagination is near limitless, thus our opportunities are seemingly infinite.

Those with whom we share our community are people with whom we have had a deep connection as far back as we can remember. We love each other dearly and know everything about one another. This is not an invasion of privacy because our connections are so deep, so satisfying and so loving that we experience joy in sharing everything with each other. There is no judgment, no criticism but only delight in what our loved ones have experienced. We feel the presence of each other even when they are not in our immediate presence.

In Home faith is a living essence and it is woven in to all things. If faith could be removed from anything in Home, that thing would instantly cease to exist. The highest principle in Home is love and it is the primary cause of life in every form. In home love becomes faith and faith condenses into manifest reality. The opposite of love is indifference and the opposite of faith is fear. Nothing could exist in Home if it did not extend from love and faith so these opposites simply do not exist.

Some of us believe we came from elsewhere while others among us believe we will not be here always. However, no one remembers ever being anywhere else nor have they any indication we will move on… ever. So we consider this our eternity and we simply call it Home. Another view that has gained popularity recently is one of forgetful retention. The theory is that as we go through the process of permanently retaining the results of our experiences but eventually we forget the details. In order to be able to expend more energy retaining and using the results of our mounting experiences, we discard the details. The theory suggests the further we get from the experiences, the more we occupy our self with building upon them, the more need we have for forgetful retention. If this is true we could have come from anywhere and Home, which seems eternal, could be just a transient experience after all.

If you walk out in the fields there will eventually be a clearing in which there are no trees, no flowers, just an endless field of grass. In what could be the middle is a distortion and we from Home call it the Anomaly.  The Anomaly is quite large and it extends upward as high as any of us can see. As you look at the Anomaly it is totally transparent and you can see right through to the other side. However, when looking through the Anomaly what is on the other side appears wavy and vibrating. The image of the other side is not oscillating but looking at it through the Anomaly makes it appear so.  There are constantly people, dozens, hundreds, thousands walking through the Anomaly most in groups but a few, very few alone. It takes just a few moments to walk from one side to the other and no one is ever out of our view when walking though. Though it is a short excursion, we plan with our friends and relatives to take this journey together so we may have a shared experience.

I entered the Anomaly. Several of us walked up to its borders and stepped gingerly inside. Instantly it seemed like the world stopped, there were no sights, no sounds, and no fragrances. All of my senses shut down and I found myself alone in the dark. So isolated did I feel that it caused me severe pain everywhere. I was gripped with fear and my only thought was to escape. However, I was paralyzed with heaviness and movement was incredibly difficult. I do not recall ever moving so slowly or expending so much effort to do so little. Even the timelessness of Home stopped and became stationary under the immense weight within the Anomaly. Here I was in what felt like intense pain, experiencing unimaginable fear and there was nothing I could do. I was so distressed the longer I experienced the Anomaly the more I forgot I ever existed outside of it. It did seem though the more I forgot the easier it was to adapt to life in the Anomaly. Although I could not see, hear, taste, feel or smell, slowly, ever so slowly I began to develop the organs of perception to do this in the Anomaly. So in a very crude sense I developed sight, hearing, smell, taste and touch in the darkness. Although this was a fraction of the acuity of the senses I enjoyed at Home, I could not remember enough to compare these experiences to those I had outside of the Anomaly. But I learned that if I wanted to interact with life in the Anomaly I had to develop the ability to do so.

At first, growth was painfully slow but the focus was helpful. As a process oriented being, I found in the Anomaly process was all there was. The fluidity of the timeless passing of events I call “Home time” had also stopped and this was my opportunity to devote myself entirely to the experience at hand. Had it not been so comparatively painful I might have seen the benefit from the very beginning of being here.

None of this was visible from outside of the Anomaly. What seemed like the painful crawling of time passed instantly to the world outside. My friends and family saw nothing of this nor did they see any time lapse but for the few seconds while I stepped in to and out of the Anomaly. For me, time seemed to stop while it moved on for everyone else outside.

In the Anomaly I was unaware of those with whom I had entered or even our agreement to share the experience. These are the effects of the far reaches of forgetful retention. Though I forgot the agreement, the covenant, I did not forget the commitment, which I would retain. The force that bound us together as a group in Home operated fully in the Anomaly. As long as we remained in the Anomaly, when we finally met, we would feel an inexplicable bond to one another. When we would meet in the Anomaly for the first time we would experience an attraction (or at certain times a repulsion) but never fully understand it.  In time we would form those bonds necessary to share the experience as we had determined to do. So the exact memory of our agreement was not necessary for us to become bound to one another in the Anomaly. Those forces that bound us together as a group, modified by our intent, were all that was necessary for us to enjoy a shared experience.

As I began to become conditioned to life in the Anomaly I developed a sense of sight in the darkness. Nothing had the clarity or beauty I experienced in Home but because I could not recall this I accepted what I had in the Anomaly as perfect vision. As I became accustomed to the sounds without the harmonies I believed I had developed a good sense of hearing. However, in Home this sense included both truth and beauty of the unspoken word. As I mentioned earlier, for lack of memory I could not compare my senses from within the Anomaly to those outside. As I became aware of the odors they seemed to inspire different feelings but they were not the same as the life renewing fragrances in Home. Tasting in the Anomaly was vastly different from tasting in Home. Here in the Anomaly taste enabled me to identify the properties of what I ate but in Home tasting evoked images, memories that rose before me. The sense of touch was unique to the Anomaly because this was not a separate sense in Home but it was incorporated in to all the others. The more I used these senses in the Anomaly the better I became at interacting with a reality bound up in time and space. For without these senses I would simply be an observer and not a participant in the Anomaly. It was for the participation I entered the Anomaly. Here where experience was so intensely minute I could gain an appreciation of the smallest thing.

I began to learn that the Anomaly was a super condensed portion of Home. Everything in Home was here but in an incredibly compressed almost unrecognizable form. As a result, instinct played a large part of my interaction with what I encountered along the way, and forgetful retention was fully present through this impulse. Although a reality in Home would have appeared different from its compressed form in the Anomaly it served the same purpose in both places. A good example would be cause and effect. This was the underlying law of creation in Home and everything was bound up in it. Because there was no delay, the two were experienced simultaneously as one. However, to have the opportunity to experience this in great detail we would experience them as separate events in the Anomaly. To make this possible, cause and effect were compressed in the Anomaly becoming time and space. Time would allow for events to occur sequentially (one after the other) and space would allow us to measure the distance between those occurrences. As I said, in Home everything happens in the same time but in the Anomaly we can separate events and in this way we can better appreciate our creative gifts. In Home, creativity is what we are about but in the Anomaly we can closely study this process as an exercise in self replication. In the Anomaly we recreate our self in everything we say and do. Thus life from one end of the Anomaly to the other is a tremendous opportunity for us to both experience and observe the process of self replication.

As I developed and mastered the use of my senses in the Anomaly I began to meet those with whom I entered. Unaware of any connection with them I could not understand why we were drawn to one another. We shared our experiences, helping one another in every way we found practical. The pact, the covenant we made before leaving Home was that none of us would benefit from the experience unless we all did. We would live our lives together and we would all gain from the shared experience. Although the experience could be personal the gain would be mutual. This is the pattern that exists in Home becoming fully present in the Anomaly when it is expressed as joy, peace, persistence, kindness, goodness, and faithfulness. However, it is important to understand these expressions are not simply behaviors but the basis for wholesome personal relationships.  In this way what benefits one of us benefits all of us.

Because of our forgetfulness, we become prone to error in the Anomaly. Even going in what may appear the wrong direction can be very helpful. We have the opportunity to recreate our self under any circumstances so in this regard we cannot do it wrong. We can, if we wish make the process more or less difficult. From the beginning of the experience in the Anomaly until the end we have a single, distraction, one single torment, one single obstacle and it is fear. Every difficulty we can possibly encounter in the Anomaly is from one or another expression of fear. This dominates our experience in the Anomaly. Fear is not what would be called a thing but it is the lack of a thing. Faith is the wellspring from which flows our creativity. It is the energy that makes both creation and recreation possible. This is true in Home and no less true in the Anomaly. However, in the Anomaly, should we choose we can create a sense of the absence of faith. It is simply a matter of focusing on one thing at a time to the exclusion of all else. Everything still exists but not within our awareness. Fear then is merely the illusion of the absence of faith and the cause of every error that befalls us in the Anomaly.

Although by Home standards our experience in the Anomaly takes only moments, by Anomaly standards it takes many decades.  We are limited in the ability to energize and revitalize our self in the Anomaly because we do not have unlimited access to the creative forces as we have in Home. We do have some access to the life force but because of our limitations we find after a while we cannot fully recuperate. We are unable to fully resuscitate as we did at Home and we call this process of deterioration aging. Gradually when we have spent all of the life force and can no longer regenerate our self sufficiently to continue to fulfil our objective we step out of the Anomaly.

For many of us this stepping out of the Anomaly becomes the most difficult and painful part of our experience. Because of our forgetfulness we do not remember our life in Home. We do not remember our countless experiences and most of all we cannot remember we entered the Anomaly for only a few moments of self-examination. Over time we come to believe we are part of the Anomaly and if we step out we will no longer exist. We also fear separation from those with whom we share the experience, forgetting that outside of time and space there is no separation. Nonetheless, we are only visitors in the Anomaly and we must step out eventually.

As we step out of the Anomaly it is like waking up from a foggy dream. Everything looks similar to what it was in the Anomaly but the clarity of what we behold in Home is overwhelming. For a moment, before everything floods back in to us we remember our experiences in the Anomaly, all of them “from cradle to grave.” We process them and they become a permanent part of us. Forgetful retention once again begins, and like digesting a good meal, we gain the benefits eventually having no need to remember the details.

My friends all ran toward me. They were hugging and kissing me saying how delighted they were to welcome me home. How odd that sounded, I had not been away nor could I remember having gone anywhere special. Without speaking a word I wondered where I had been and for how long I was gone. In their joy they told me, I had not gone anywhere - not even an inch, and I was never away - not even for a moment. This bizarre scene is both the beginning and ending of my story. 

This is where this chapter of my story should end but I am compelled to add a post script. You may rightly be wondering, after resuming forgetful retention, where I got all of the information from to write this discourse. In Home, we conjecture there are several, if not many different life forms. We do not see or hear them so it is just a theory. Little things seem to point to this but we may be completely wrong on this issue. However, there is one life form we are certain exists alongside of us that under normal circumstances we cannot sense. From time to time they make themselves known, they communicate with us and withdraw as quickly as they had appeared. They have names known only to them but we simply call them the messengers. The messengers are a higher life form than we, they are as wise as they are gentle, as loving as they are powerful.

While walking from my friends and their celebration of my return I was approached by a messenger. He looked just like anyone else but when he began to speak I knew inwardly who he was. The messenger asked if I would like to tell others of my journey and I said I would. He told me he had access to the record of all activity in Home including all of my experiences in the Anomaly. The messenger said if I wish he could bring anything to my awareness he found helpful. He asked if I wished to recall my experiences in the Anomaly, and I said I did. He touched my upper lip with his finger, right beneath my nose, ever so gently and suddenly I relived with incredible clarity every single thing I experienced in the Anomaly. Not only was it clearer to me now than it was then but I can remember each and every emotion I experienced. Just then the messenger vanished and I have not seen him since.

As life goes on, and at the appropriate time, I will share with you more of what I now recall of my experiences in the Anomaly.


While walking from my friends and their celebration of my return I was approached by a messenger. He looked just like anyone else but when he began to speak I knew inwardly who he was. The messenger asked if I would like to tell others of my sojourn and I said I would. He told me he had access to the record of all activity in Home including all of my experiences in the anomaly. The messenger said if I wish he could bring anything to my awareness he found helpful. He asked if I wished to recall my experiences in the Anomaly, and I said I did.

In the Anomaly my motivation was to experience myself with an intensity that was not possible in Home. My motivation became my mission and it drove me ever onward. I am recreated in every thought and act, and as a result each one enables me to experience a newly created part of who I am. My dedication to my mission dominated my entire experience and everything else was guided by it. So I can more easily describe my experiences, I will refer to my newly  developing self as my experiential self and my permanent original self as my motivating self. My experiential self was layered upon my motivational self and quickly became unaware of this underlying individuality. A good illustration here might be my motivational self standing directly behind and facing experiential self, while this experiential self stood in front of with its back toward my motivational self and was unaware of its presence. My motivational self was always dominant it witnessed all of my activity and directed my experiential self in all things. Additionally my motivational self retained each and every experience digested by my experiential self. Although my experiential self was mostly unaware of this, every experience, all of my creative acts in the Anomaly were for the benefit of my permanent motivational self. When my experience in the Anomaly was finished I would step out and leave my experiential self behind. However, all of my experiences would be retained in my motivational self for as long as they were needed.

What a surprise it was to me when I learned of the dominance and permanence of my motivational self. My experiential self possessed all of the physical and mental senses that enabled me to interact with the Anomaly but my mind, my emotions and my life force or spirit was within my motivational self. My motivational self was the origin and ultimate benefactor of all I would experience in the Anomaly.

As I matured in the Anomaly, I became fixed upon my form. It took a tremendous amount of energy to keep my focus upon my newly developing senses that were my organs of perception. If I relaxed my grip on the matter within the Anomaly my ability to interact with it may have taken flight. Consequently, I would have found myself in the Anomaly without the ability to influence it. Each step of the way I tightened my hold by finding new and more creative ways to influence matter. The more I learned, through experience, of the laws that govern matter in the Anomaly, the better able I became to creatively manipulate it. As a consequence of such an intense focus I began to think of myself as matter.

As soon as I lost sight of my motivational self I became griped with fear. If I was matter, I concluded, and matter was so transitory a condition, I could at some point cease to exist. As the faith I had known in Home began to wane in my experiential self this fear began to develop a negative form of motivation. In this way faith was transformed into fear and I became possessive of everything in my life in the Anomaly. My motivational self was taken quite by surprise at such a turn, but there was little it could do except to find ever creative ways to awaken a sense of faith in me. There would then follow a life-long battle in the Anomaly between faith and fear that would make possible an immense growth in my individuality. For I learned I grew not from faith or fear but from the battle itself. Further, I learned I am faith, my permanent eternal self is faith and nothing can change that. In the Anomaly, I can create a condition where faith is hidden and I can use my resources to struggle for its restoration. Of great importance is that the heroism exercised in this battle between faith and fear offers the possibility of a new relationship with faith that would not be possible had I never left Home.

My motivational self was incredibly loyal. Never in the course of my experience in the Anomaly did it desert me or surrender to frustration. No matter what obstacles my experiential self placed in my path, my motivational self found a way to turn it in to an opportunity for individual growth. My experiential self could produce enough noise to drown out the promptings directed toward it but my motivational self was relentless. It demonstrated a patience and persistence that would ultimately assure it had its own way. There was nothing I could do that would demoralize or permanently defeat my motivational self.

At the very center of my motivational self resides my life force. It enlivens each and every experience I have and in this way they become a part of my individuality. My individuality is unique in all of creation and there will never be anyone else quite like me. This is who I am. All of my experiences are the ingredients or the component parts of my individuality and my life force is what gives them a permanent form. In the Anomaly, my experiential self developed a personality, a rudimentary form of consciousness which was the result of my newly acquired experiences acted upon by my individuality.  It was who this personality, this temporary self, with a limited consciousness had become. I assimilated my experiences in the Anomaly first by my experiential self to become my personality and my personality was then assimilated by my motivational self to add to my individuality. I did not enter the Anomaly simply to develop a personality but to use it to grow my individuality. So there I was in the Anomaly temporarily possessed of a personality for the benefit of my growing permanent individuality.

I have learned my motivational self, this individuality is me. In the Anomaly we called this my higher self or my mental self. Consequently, it is simply who I have become, it is my eternal self. It is the source and center of all of my experiences. I can go anywhere that is open for me and I will develop the organs of perception, those senses to interact with where I find myself. Those newly acquired senses are not who I am but they are temporary and allow me to interact with conditions wherever I happen to be. As an example, if I wished to reside under the sea for a time I would require equipment so I may temporarily adapt to my environment. I would still be the source and benefactor of all of my experiences but my newly acquired equipment would enable me to interact with life beneath the ocean. To further use this illustration, let us assume I was wearing a diving suit to explore life under the ocean. I would be aware that I was in the diving suit and it simply allowed me to function under water. However, if the diving suit had an elementary form of consciousness and did not know I was really inside, it would think it was me and it would suspect it was all that I was.

There is only one me and I can employ various means to experience myself. The tools I use in life may have a limited sense of consciousness but they neither sponsor, control, nor become the beneficiary of any of my experiences. As a result of my experience in to the Anomaly, I have discovered I am far more complex and incredibly grander than I was previously aware of.

In the Anomaly, like in Home we live in groups. Whereas we gain from each of our activities there are limits to how much any of us can experience in a single visit. Living in groups we can benefit from the experiences of others as well and although they do not add who we are, we can use their lessons in our daily activities. To help individuals living in groups to grow and interact harmoniously we have standards of behavior that are codified as laws. They are not the same as the patterns that guide daily living in Home but they are similarly fashioned to assist us in operating as a cohesive whole. Because each group is unique, laws vary from one to another depending on their individual make up. There are smaller groups within larger groups in the Anomaly resulting in layers of laws codifying their shared values.  Because of the tension between faith and fear in the Anomaly we begin to believe our laws should be universal. That means we begin to think all groups should embrace the same laws as our own unique grouping does. It is difficult from an Anomaly perspective to recognize that variety adds strength and different values can be helpful for the group around which they were formed. I have learned in the Anomaly that which may be helpful for one group need not be helpful for all groups.

Each group has its own unique experiences enabling it to perceive reality differently. I found in the Anomaly there is no one truth but only a portion of the whole within each group. This is our primary strength and yet our chief weakness. Misunderstanding this principle is one of the greatest causes of conflict in the Anomaly. When we have only a limited perspective of what is true and it competes with the perspective of others we are in danger of concluding that one is correct and the other is not.

I found that learning is labored in the Anomaly. We learn from our own experiences as well as the experiences of others. Our experiences define who we are but the experiences of others can be used to guide our physical activities. Because we do not penetrate the consciousness of others as we do in Home, sharing our experiences with others is limited to our ability to communicate. As a consequence clarity in our communications is a real challenge in the Anomaly. Additionally in a dimension bound up in time and space we must go to where the information we require is available where we have no such requirements in Home. What we lack in ease of learning is more than compensated for in the joy of discovery and the intensity of our focus in the Anomaly. Though learning is slow, labored, intense and invigorating in the Anomaly it is from the process and not the result that we grow.

Although I thought this was my only visit to the Anomaly, the messenger informed me I have made many. Each visit afforded me a different set of experiences to learn more about myself. There are good reasons why several visits through the Anomaly are necessary, and why I could not experience all that I sought in one single visit. To change my experience sufficiently required that I purge from my personality the memory of my former visit. As all of my experiences were permanently stored in my individuality it was helpful to begin each experience in the Anomaly fresh and new. I would then be able to develop senses, leanings, and gifts suitable for each particular visit. I am not speaking of talents here for they are the result of how I apply my senses, leanings and gifts. With fresh gifts I was once again armed for grand new experiences and I would not be held back by former fears and prejudices.

There are many forms of learning in the Anomaly and laws to guide us along the way. There are physical laws, mental laws and spiritual laws. Those conditions that are physical are directly observable and as a result they can be measured. However, so many of us in the Anomaly ignore the importance, even to the point of denial, of mental and spiritual laws. We come to believe if we cannot measure them with our physical senses they do not exist. Yet we are growing in many areas and becoming more willing to observe the results of what we cannot see, hear, taste, smell or touch.

Some of the unseen laws are more difficult to accept than others. Chief among the unseen laws in the Anomaly is faith. Here faith is considered a belief while in Home it is like breathing. In home we open our creative center and life enters in. When, in the Anomaly, we open our hearts and minds to infinite life, when we align our self to the eternal in Home this is faith. It is not a merely believing but a doing an experiencing. In the anomaly faith is thought of as a believing but when acted upon, it opens us to all sorts of possibilities. When we act in faith the unseen forces pour out from the mental and spiritual, even from Home to fill our lives. We cannot see these forces in action but their presence is easily observable in the lives of those who live in faith in the Anomaly.

The law of attraction, another of the unseen laws, is the glue that binds together all life in the Anomaly. Like attracts like is an important expression of this law and it is meant to produce harmony in materiality. Although some of us in the Anomaly think opposites attract we are incorrect in this assessment. Opposites bound together give rise to discord, which will eventually give way to chaos. Our bodies, minds, families, and communities function at their optimum in harmony. On the other hand, discord eventually results in decline and deterioration wherever it exists. On every level in the Anomaly, joy attracts joy, kindness attracts kindness, mercy attracts mercy and courage attracts courage. Likewise, fear attracts fear; selfishness attracts selfishness, even as feelings of lack attract privation.

Cause and effect as the overriding law in the Anomaly spans the seen and unseen. Everything in the Anomaly, the Anomaly itself is the result of cause and effect. Simply, every effect has a cause and every cause has an effect. This is creation in the Anomaly at its core but it is amazing how many of us caught up in the stress of each day take no cognizance of this law. We can do nothing physically, mentally or spiritually in the Anomaly that will not cause a result.

Another unseen law I have experienced in the Anomaly is the law of expectancy. It is a combination of the law of attraction and the law of cause and effect. I have found what I expect, in patience will come about. This is true for my heart’s desire or my worst fears. Unlike the laws of Faith, those of attraction, and cause and effect, this law gets very little attention. However, it is as immutable as the other laws and I have found in patience it works perfectly.

A law that we all love in the Anomaly (although we scarcely believe it) is the law of abundance. Everything we need here is in unlimited supply and there is no shortage. Interestingly, this is a creative law because the more we use this law the more supply becomes available to us. The law of abundance could be accurately called the gift that keeps on giving. This law when combined with the law of expectancy can be the bridge across which flows unlimited supply of every kind.

I would like to briefly discuss another law I experienced but first I would like to repeat I have learned I have taken several trips in to the Anomaly. I will expand on that later on. Each one was a continuation of an earlier visit and they have all been connected. My motivational self retains a memory of each experience, not in every detail but the important events. In this way I have the opportunity to relive an important experience but from a slightly different angle. As a result I can fully savor the experience before finally releasing it. The unseen law that governs this memory is the law of karma. It is what can be called a soul memory that enables us to meet our self in the Anomaly over and over until we have drained every ounce of benefit from an experience. Karma is not a punishment as some of us in the Anomaly believe, it is instead a blessing. Karma is cause and effect as it spans our repeated trips in to the Anomaly.

The unseen law of mercy is ever present in the Anomaly as it pours down from Home. In the Anomaly we know it as forgiveness and we are bathed in its beauty. Mercy is the root of compassion. The law of mercy as it unfolds in the Anomaly guarantees we will never experience more than we can use for good at any time. As a result of this law we never need to find our self overcome by those conditions that challenge us during any visit to the Anomaly. We love the law of mercy but all too often we do not extend it to others in the Anomaly as freely as it is extended to us.

Finally there is the law of grace as it penetrates the Anomaly as a combination of all the unseen laws imbued with indescribable love. I have seen how grace brings all of the unseen laws to fruition without the intervention of time and space. Grace is beauty, it is magic; it is poetry in motion made so by love’s transformative effect on the unseen laws in the Anomaly.

I call these unseen laws but I could very easily call them blessings. I have learned that everything that exists in the Anomaly is orderly and a reflection of what exists in a different form at Home. There is nothing in the Anomaly that does not exist in Home, and there is little in Home that does not exist in one form or another in the Anomaly. For I have found that the Anomaly in all of its detail is a direct reflection of Home.

There is a limited amount of Anomaly time during which I can productively function in a single visit. I can bring enough of the life force from Home with me to sustain myself and in the Anomaly I have limited access to healing energies to enable me to hold matter together to serve my needs. Through my experiences this life force is depleted, which in the language of the Anomaly is known as ageing. When I cannot sufficiently resuscitate myself to where I can constructively continue my experience, I simply step out, to return again to the Anomaly if I desire. My individuality knows I am eternal and there is no end to my experiences so there is no concern about moving carefully and deliberately. It is the experience that is everything. Neither the volume of what I can fit in to a single visit nor the swiftness with which I can complete my journey is of any consequence. In Home there are no such measurements as volume or velocity, these are strictly measurements of Anomaly construct.

The Messenger touched my upper lip with his finger, right beneath my nose, ever so gently and suddenly I relived with incredible clarity every single thing I experienced in the Anomaly. Not only was it clearer to me now than it was then but I can remember each and every emotion I experienced. Just then the messenger vanished and I have not seen him since.


While walking from my friends and their celebration of my return I was approached by a messenger. He looked just like anyone else but when he began to speak I knew inwardly who he was. The messenger asked if I would like to tell others of my sojourn and I said I would. He told me he had access to the record of all activity in Home including all of my experiences in the Anomaly. The messenger said if I wish he could bring anything to my awareness he found helpful. He asked if I wished to recall my experiences in the Anomaly, and I said I did.

I was totally surprised when in the Anomaly it was suggested by one of my friends that reality was internal and not external as it appeared to be. This contradicted everything my experiential self had learned. However, because my motivational self knew this to be true I found the concept appealing. In Home we take for granted that all reality is experienced inwardly, while in the Anomaly the reverse is true. My experience has taught me that the illusion of separateness in the Anomaly is what makes possible the concept of an outside focus possible. Only after I became accustomed to the separateness of things in the Anomaly did I begin to understand the connectedness of internal and external reality. For example, it was like plucking a thought from my head, holding it out in front of me to inspect it from all sides and then with this new insight returning it from where it came.

In the Anomaly it was quite natural to set aside my experiential mind at regular intervals to give my motivational mind an unhindered opportunity to revitalize my body. This process is called sleep and it is how I shut down my experiential mind. The amount of it we require each day varies with need. Additionally, the confinement of time and space is shocking to my motivational mind and it needs to make many adjustments that are best done when my experiential mind is at rest. During this renewal or rest period my motivational mind operates without any interference from my experiential mind. The process is entirely internal. Although my experiential mind does not participate in this activity it does observe it. When I awaken from my rest my experiential mind recalls some of what took place. However it does not have the ability to comprehend what it witnessed so it creates a symbolic story around the events. These symbols are drawn largely from my experiential mind’s waking experiences. We call this symbolic recall a dream.

The dream state occurs when my experiential self reaches the proper state of rest. At these times I observe the activity and even converse with my motivational self. Although my motivational self is fully active throughout my sleep, only at those times of deep relaxation or what we call the dream state does my experiential self process what it observes. During sleep my motivational self processes the experiences my experiential self has taken it through in my waking state. As a result so many of my dreams seem to be addressing events that took place the day before even though the symbols I use are from experiences throughout my life in the Anomaly. Based on how my motivational self feels about my activity I have either a pleasant or unpleasant dream. I have found ways to interpret my dreams; that is to decipher the symbols, resulting in a real collaboration between my motivational self and my experiential self. Second to understanding the language spoken in my native residence in the Anomaly, understanding my dream language is the most valuable.

My motivational or mental self often disengages during sleep and leaves the confines of Anomaly. Because of the overwhelming feeling of confinement my mental self experiences in the Anomaly these sleep state journeys are incredibly invigorating. Following my mental self’s experiences, these periods of release my experiential self awakens with a heightened feeling of wellbeing. It is during these journeys my mental self is invigorated, it renews the life force it expended maintaining my physical body and upon awakening I feel an increase in energy.

In my dream state my experiential mind experiences the sensations that are aroused by the symbols. The process is internal and seems quite natural. Everything in the dream seems very real. Because the process is inward it is clearer and more vibrant than what I view when fully awake. For the rest of my experience in the Anomaly there is the sway back and forth. When asleep I readily accept this inward focus, the world of the mind as reality and when I awake I consign the experience having been a fantasy. Yet my motivational mind never thinks my external focus is without merit while my experiential mind takes the opposite approach. Here is where I began to reason the possibility that inward focus may indeed be a valid approach.

The illusion of reality being fully outside could not be maintained in the Anomaly in all things. To exercise my sense of smell I had to internalize the molecules of matter. The same was true of my sense of taste; it must take place internally. As for my sense of sight, I had to allow the image to enter myself through my eyes and travel along my nervous system before I could perceive an image. I could not exercise my sense of hearing until I allowed vibrations to enter me and register in my brain. Finally I could exercise my sense of touch only once I allowed the sensations to enter me through my central nervous system and travel along its pathways. What I found was whatever I perceived as outside of me must be internalized before I could actually experience it.

Once I began to question the relationship of my internal experiences to my external ones did I begin to fully value each. I was still able to relate to everything around me as being separate from me but I could then gradually appreciate the internal connectedness of all things. In this way I could focus intensely on some things at the exclusion of others, while at the same time I could gain an appreciation for the connectedness of everything. It was a delightful surprise to me when I discovered in the anomaly that although reality is really inward I can fix my attention upon my experiences as though they were external. From this I have learned what appears to be external in the Anomaly is very real but it is projected by me to supply the clarity that comes from isolating the images.

There are ways in the Anomaly to recall certain experiences stored in my mental self as well as dialogue between my experiential and motivational self. The process is also invigorating because it allows an increased flow of the renewing life force stored in my motivational self to pour out upon my experiential self. We call this process meditation and it is a quieting process where my experiential mind can be stilled sufficiently to allow my motivational mind the untrammeled freedom it enjoys only in deep sleep. As a result my experiential mind is only stilled and not at complete rest. In this way it can observe and in most cases recall the entire experience. My meditation has become a bridge over which the unseen primal forces of my mind travel between my motivational and experiential selves. Like a physical sense the more it is used the more refined my meditation becomes.

My plans were formulated and set in my motivational self before I stepped into the Anomaly; though the directions and promptings come from this primal eternal self, the final decisions are the purview of my experiential self. We call this freedom of choice and it is inviolate. Although my experiential self can make whatever final decisions it deems appropriate, it is the responsibility of my mental self to use each of them for my eternal benefit. My experiential self enjoys unfettered freedom of choice in the Anomaly just as my motivational self has been bestowed with inviolate freedom of choice in Home.

While in the Anomaly I have become accustomed to borders. That is to say I have become comfortable with time and space. Time being the progression of events and space the separation between them. This affords boundaries to everything so that events appear isolated. In this way I can inspect anything without distraction of everything. Like so much in the Anomaly separateness is a blessed illusion. In Home, which the Anomaly is a projection of, there are no borders, no boundaries and no separations. Everything penetrates everything else and this is quite a natural connection. In the Anomaly we call such an existence oneness but our experiential mind, born in and constituted of time and space cannot really conceive of oneness. Yet in the Anomaly we experience oneness on a daily basis.

I have observed when I look at something, listen to it, smell, taste, and touch it all at the same time one sense does not inhibit the other but enhances it. When I use all of my senses together not only is the acuity of each improved but my overall perception is increased immeasurably. By comparison, when I truly experience oneness the events that merge together do not distract from one another but likewise add to my perception. In my deep meditation and sleep state I have experienced a simultaneous awareness of many things and my consciousness of each is enhanced by my concurrent awareness of the others.

Often I become confounded in the Anomaly and think that using my senses together will add to my confusion. This I have found occurs most frequently because repetition has formed habits and habits have given rise to expectation. In this way I may expect something bright to be loud or to feel smooth when it shines but this and similar errors are simply the result of expectations born of habit.

I have found everything in the Anomaly consists of energy vibrating at different rates. As a result manifest materiality varies in density. I simply accept without question air is not as dense as water nor is water as dense as stone. However I have found there are states of matter that are even more sublime than gases that simply consists of energy vibrating at a much higher rate. I do not know from my experience how much more there is of this sublime matter than the denser form, to which I have become accustomed, but I conjecture there must be much more. I have experienced this finer expression of time and space, it is as real as the denser form, and at this point all states of matter penetrate one another.

For many of us the vale that separates perception of the finer forms of matter from the denser ones is very thin indeed. There is constant movement between the finer and denser manifestations but for some of us one or the other in more permanent. When I first stepped in to the Anomaly I passed through this finer region and I did so again when I stepped out. In my meditations and my deep sleep my motivational self frequently enters the finer expression of the Anomaly. My experiential self does not recall in great detail these experiences because it is conditioned to the denser states. However, through meditation and the dialogue that is possible between my mental self and my experiential self in this and my dream state I have learned a great deal more about this finer state. To my initial surprise I learned that I pass through this finer state during natural sleep on a daily basis.

Although my perspective is not as intense in the finer states my ability to influence the formation matter is much keener. Because matter is in the initial state of densification here in the finer region it is more malleable and subject to manipulation by my motivational self. I have discovered it is from here the unseen laws pour out upon the Anomaly to guide day to day life.

I have seen how in the dream state thoughts become things. The entire process and everything I encounter in the dream is comprised of thought. During this experience it never occurs to me that the experience is not real and it is not until I awaken and reinvest my attention in the three dimensional expression of the Anomaly do I begin to question the reality I experienced in the dream state. Yet to my mental self, the dream author and entire cast, this is as real as anything else in the Anomaly. In the finer states my thoughts do take form even though I may be in the denser state when they occur. What makes this possible as long as I am in the Anomaly is that my mental self is always connected to the finer regions.

In the Anomaly I scarcely believed the influence my thoughts and moods had upon life in the finer regions. My unintended creations I call my thought forms loomed larger than life at me peering out the window between the two realities. This was very helpful in alerting me of the danger of holding negative emotions. These thought forms would eventually influence forming matter in the anomaly and have an effect on my daily affairs.

Often I consider the location of the mind, experiential as well as motivational. I have found it exists fully in the finer realms and because the finer completely penetrates the denser, it is always accessible to me. Because the focus is inward, all reality, including my mind is truly within me.

Through time fear of the unknown gave rise to many superstitions in the Anomaly. Many of them were regarding the finer regions but we have been moving slowly away from this. My friends and family in the Anomaly have been more willing to set their fear of the unknown aside to become more comfortable with this finer expression of material reality. 

Many scientists studying the behavior of what they can detect with their senses suggest that there are more than simply three dimensions. Most recently some have postulated there may be at least 10. Those beyond 3 may well exist in the finer expressions of matter and in time we may be able to interact with them as we do radio waves, electricity and other of the unseen energies.

What a fascinating journey this is.

The Messenger touched my upper lip with his finger, right beneath my nose, ever so gently and suddenly I relived with incredible clarity every single thing I experienced in the Anomaly. Not only was it clearer to me now than it was then but I can remember each and every emotion I experienced. Just then the messenger vanished and I have not seen him since.


While walking from my friends and their celebration of my return I was approached by a messenger. He looked just like anyone else but when he began to speak I knew inwardly who he was. The messenger asked if I would like to tell others of my sojourn and I said I would. He told me he had access to the record of all activity in Home including all of my experiences in the Anomaly. The messenger said if I wish he could bring anything to my awareness he found helpful. He asked if I wished to recall my experiences in the Anomaly, and I said I did.

As I previously mentioned, the Anomaly, I have found, is not a single state but one that gradually increases in density.  I find it helpful to visualize this as layers progressing from fine to dense. Consequently, form in the Anomaly becomes gradually denser. Experience in the Anomaly has taught me not all of me is comprised of the same density. My mind, for example is of much finer substance than my body as are the electrical impulses that travel along my nervous system. So I exist in the Anomaly on several levels. Even in matter, there is energy, gaseous and solid, all existing simultaneously and often interchanging.

I discussed earlier my experiential self and my motivational self. I would like to reemphasize that my motivational self is the me that exists in Home, the me that entered the Anomaly and the me that will return to Home following my visit. Its form is comprised of the substance of Home. My experiential self exists completely in the Anomaly and is made up of the finer substance of the Anomaly. My motivational self exists first immediately adjacent to my experiential self and through a process similar to absorption functions through my experiential self. This union of both parts of me I call my mind.

Consciousness in the Anomaly is a state of awareness. It is real, containing form permeating the first stage or finest form of the Anomaly. I would not be far afield if I said the first stage of the Anomaly is comprised almost entirely of consciousness. What we in the Anomaly conceive as motivation, values, desires and fears all exist in consciousness. Likewise the result of all experiences in the Anomaly exists in consciousness and although the circumstances may have long ago dissipated the living record of them continues to exist here in full force. Nothing is lost no act, no thought, no emotion; they all live on as long as consciousness does.
Those guiding forces I call patterns permeate consciousness from Home drawing form both mental and physical form into conformity with them.

Love and indifference are the primary motivating forces in the Anomaly and it surprised me how often I moved from one state to the other never realizing the change taking place. The first or primal expression of each to imbue consciousness in the Anomaly is faith and fear. There is as much faith as there is fear in the Anomaly and neither can be completely avoided. Here is where choice plays an important role to determine how often we will swing from one state to the other and the length of time we will spend in each. Although at the bottom of the pit of consciousness, fear, I have found is a useful tool in the struggle for the intense focus available in the Anomaly. However we often let this tool we call fear to rule our lives.

I suppose one of the greatest benefits to be found in fear is that it allows us a place to step aside and inspect the fullness of faith from what seems like an outside perspective. Also, we grow first from our choices and then by expressing them. I find without the possibility of fear how could we continue to choose faith. If we faced no alternative of what benefit would our choice be to us. Each time we choose faith we have the opportunity for immeasurable growth through expressing it in our affairs. Because all things are transient in the Anomaly if we choose faith only once and for all it will eventually lose its vibrancy.  Each time we choose we add a special energy to our consciousness that we utilize when we finally express these choices. However, the energy once used must be renewed by continuously choosing. In this way we grow choice by choice.

Because of their primacy there is no escaping faith and fear in the Anomaly. What I did not before consider is if we are not expressing faith we are expressing fear. There appears no middle ground and if we do not choose faith then fear becomes our default condition. I have found although faith is available in infinite supply, we cannot store it. Faith in the Anomaly is consumed as we express it and it must be renewed continually. It appears to me that we have a well that is constantly being filled and if we do not fill it with faith, fear will naturally flow in. In the Anomaly we discuss the many kinds of fear but there is only one kind. All the rest are the many ways in which we express fear. There are so many categories of how we express fear in the Anomaly I could list dozens of them. Faith connects us with our source and builds within us those living patterns for perfection. The energy of which faith is comprised pulls us in to conformity with those patterns. Fear, simply put, is the absence of faith.  

Life, I have found, is infinite and there is no lack of anything but fear leads us to the opposite conclusion. I have experienced the very first stage of fear in the Anomaly which is a feeling of separation. This is the result of the isolation felt by the loss of faith. Separation leads to feelings of lack which are expressed as lack of love, lack of supply, lack of friendship and lack of opportunity. Also, feelings of lack sponsor destructive behavior such as worry, greed, pride and dishonesty in all forms.

Our children are born without the ability to consciously choose between faith and fear. Although they are filled with equal amounts of each, they do not yet know how to activate one or the other. Faith being primal will of consequence rule the child. I find early on, because we have come to believe fear is a good learning tool, we awaken it in our children even in their infancy. Through repetition we become habitually fearful and fear dependent. It has been my experience in the Anomaly that we are vibrant growing sentient life forms destined to be much more than victims of circumstance. Infinite mercy would mean very little if we could not make a miracle out of our greatest fears. The presence of fear in our lives has within it the promise of perfection through transformation.

We cannot reverse the cycle of fear by combating those things that make us afraid. Fearful as conditions may appear to be they are simply triggers that excite the fear already within us. If we wish to change we must deal with the fear itself and not only what awakened it. Although there are many expressions of fear there is only one way to combat it. The presence of faith will drive out fear and give it no place to take hold. Each time we choose faith we are filled with the energy necessary to express it, and with each expression we drive out fear from our lives. However, as I previously mentioned, in the Anomaly this creative energy dissipates and we must renew our acts of faith continuously.

It has been my experience we can choose to or choose not to confront those things that make us afraid, but to change we must act in faith driving out those fundamental forces that make us afraid.  However, I cannot overestimate the value of meeting those conditions that excite fear in the Anomaly. Each time we confront those things that have awakened fear within us we have the opportunity to experience extraordinary acts of courage. As a result we build character and leave an indelible mark on our motivational self that lives on long after the act itself.

Feelings of separation are the sponsor of all other fears and haunt all of us in the Anomaly to one degree or the other. Fear of death, rises directly from our fear of separation and influences all of us living in the Anomaly. How we live our lives on a daily basis is influenced greatly by our attitude toward death. Life in the Anomaly is cyclical and all livings things die.  The Anomaly exists for the benefit of our experience and not for our permanent residence. Yet, once so embodied we become so fixated on form we often dread our eventual release of it.

Death as I have experienced it is a transition, the same as is birth. Each is a doorway with one leading in and the other leading out.  We did not come into existence upon birth and we certainly do not cease to exist after we die. We make much preparation before stepping in to the Anomaly and the same amount before we step out. However, we are largely unaware in the Anomaly of our preparation to depart because it is conducted by our motivational self. At some point after the middle of our experience in the Anomaly, it varies with individuals, we begin to release out grip on form. We do this slowly, carefully and methodically until we are no longer fixed on form. Our experiential self is aware of something happening but has no idea what it is. Many of us gradually lose interest in things, grow closer to others and believe it is the result of a matured perspective. Maturing is a factor but in later life the experience is largely to assist our transition. We could not resume a healthy life in Home if we were still fixed on the Anomaly without the means to express those passions. For it is from Home we come, to Home we return and Home we are made of. As we prepare, ever so gradually we change internally until we take that small step to release our hold on form. If our experiential transient self were aware of these preparations fear would most likely make them exceedingly difficult.

It may appear we leave unexpectedly but that generally does not happen. No matter the circumstances surrounding our departure, our motivational self will be neither surprised nor unprepared.  We can keep no secrets from our motivational self and this part of us deals exceedingly well with potential. We witness all of the causes in our life, direct and indirect, and we can easily determine the results. For whether we are prepared to accept it or not our use of cause and effect has determined the course of future.

I have learned there are those times when our experiential self chooses to dominate and refuses direction from our mental self. When this occurs, resulting in death such as our prematurely terminating our life without sufficient preparation, our transition can become far more traumatic than necessary. However, I am certain we will eventually adjust.  The law of mercy is present always in the Anomaly to insure that no experience is more than we can constructively handle at any given time. We may choose to ignore mercy and cut short any experience we wish. After our adjustment and recovery we are free to return to the Anomaly at a time of our choosing to complete any unfinished business. I do not want to understate the difficulty experienced when our transition is made without sufficient preparation but I also do not wish to imply we will not fully recover from such a choice. I have complete faith in infinite mercy and in all eternity I have never met anyone that did not eventually fully adjust after returning to Home.

To my surprise I learned there are exceedingly few accidents in the Anomaly, just the unfolding in form of our motivation. What appears unexpected is only so to our experiential self but certainly not to our motivational self that caused these events to take form in our life. Although it may appear to our experiential self an accident has cut short our preparation to leave the anomaly and return to Home, the events are mostly orchestrated by our motivational self.  This is not to imply there are no happenings in the Anomaly that were not planned but they are so few and far between as to become only a fraction of a fraction of our experiences.

This final step is so small yet from an Anomaly perspective it is so large. We release our grip on form, stepping out and we are once again alive and grow in the splendor of Home. At first it is like waking up from a foggy dream being absolutely amazed by the clarity of all we behold. The feeling of freedom is indescribable while the sounds are musical, the sights are beautiful and our surroundings majestic. The fears are gone as are the limits of time and space. I can recall all of this vividly because of the Messenger’s touch but it is not common to most of us that return from a visit to the Anomaly. For those of us that may have been touched by the Messenger we can remember our experiences with a clarity never before experienced in the Anomaly.  However, we soon consign them to a dim memory because they no longer serve us well. The reason for visiting the Anomaly is to better understand our individuality so we can have a greater appreciation of our uniqueness even as we are one with all things. As I am fond of stating it, so that everything can become something so that something may become everything. Once we grow there is no reason to retain these things in the forepart of our consciousness. In Anomaly terms, it would be similar to learning how to drive an automobile, once we are proficient and we have become excellent drivers it is no longer necessary to recall the individual driving lessons. Once we have internalized the uniqueness of our individuality it is no longer necessary to retain in the front of our memory the conditions that enabled this.

The joy of returning to Home is so overwhelming it is almost impossible to reconcile with the debilitating fear of death I experienced in the Anomaly. The final step out was so small and the change so large it is difficult to measure the difference in size. Yet, I am at Home and no matter how many times I venture out, no matter where my adventures take me, I will still return to its eternal embrace.

The Messenger touched my upper lip with his finger, right beneath my nose, ever so gently and suddenly I relived with incredible clarity every single thing I experienced in the Anomaly. Not only was it clearer to me now than it was then but I can remember each and every emotion I experienced. Just then the messenger vanished and I have not seen him since.

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