The Messengers Touch - The Open Door

The Messengers Touch – The Open Door

While walking from my friends and their celebration of my return I was approached by a messenger. He looked just like anyone else but when he began to speak I knew inwardly who he was. The messenger asked if I would like to tell others of my sojourn and I said I would. He told me he had access to the record of all activity in Home including all of my experiences in the Anomaly. The messenger said if I wish he could bring anything to my awareness he found helpful. He asked if I wished to recall my experiences in the Anomaly, and I said I did.

The Anomaly, I have found, is not a single state but one that gradually increases in density.  I find it helpful to visualize this as layers progressing from fine to dense. Consequently, form in the Anomaly becomes gradually denser. Experience in the Anomaly has taught me not all of me is of the same density. My mind, for example is of much finer substance than my body as are the electrical impulses that travel along my nervous system. So I exist in the Anomaly on several levels. Even in matter, there is energy, gaseous and solid, all existing simultaneously and often interchanging.

Previously I mentioned my experiential self and my motivational self. I would like to emphasize that my motivational self is the me that exists in Home, the me that entered the Anomaly and the me that will return to Home following my visit. Its form is comprised of the substance of Home. My experiential self exists completely in the Anomaly and consists of the finer substance of the Anomaly. My motivational self exists first immediately adjacent to my experiential self and through a process similar to absorption functions through my experiential self. This union of both parts of me I call my mind.

Consciousness in the Anomaly is a state of awareness. It is real, containing form permeating the first stage or finest form of the Anomaly. I would not be far afield if I said the first stage of the Anomaly is comprised almost entirely of consciousness. What we in the Anomaly conceive as motivation, values, desires and fears all exist in consciousness. Likewise the result of all experiences in the Anomaly exists in consciousness and although the circumstances may have long ago dissipated the living record of them continues to exist here in full force. Nothing is lost no act, no thought, no emotion; they all live on as long as consciousness does. Those guiding forces I call patterns permeate consciousness from Home drawing form both mental and physical form into conformity with them.

Love and indifference are the primary motivating forces in the Anomaly and it surprised me how often I moved from one state to the other never realizing the change taking place. The first or primal expression of each to imbue consciousness in the Anomaly is faith and fear. There is as much faith as there is fear in the Anomaly and neither can be completely avoided. Here is where choice plays an important role to determine how often we will swing from one state to the other and the length of time we will spend in each. Although at the bottom of the pit of consciousness, fear, I have found is a useful tool in the struggle for the intense focus available in the Anomaly. However we often let this tool we call fear to rule our lives.

I suppose one of the greatest benefits to be found in fear is that it allows us a place to step aside and inspect the fullness of faith from what seems like an outside perspective. Also, we grow first from our choices and then by expressing them. I find without the possibility of fear how could we continue to choose faith. If we faced no alternative of what benefit would our choice be to us. Each time we choose faith we have the opportunity for immeasurable growth through expressing it in our affairs. Because all things are transient in the Anomaly if we choose faith only once and for all it will eventually lose its vibrancy.  Each time we choose we add a special energy to our consciousness that we utilize when we finally express these choices. However, the energy once used must be renewed by continuously choosing. In this way we grow choice by choice.

Because of their primacy there is no escaping faith and fear in the Anomaly. What I did not before consider is if we are not expressing faith we are expressing fear. There appears no middle ground and if we do not choose faith then fear becomes our default condition. It appears to me that we have a well that is constantly being filled and if we do not fill it with faith, fear will naturally flow in. In the Anomaly we discuss the many kinds of fear but there is only one kind. All the rest categorize how we express fear. There are so many categories of how we express fear in the Anomaly I could list dozens of them. Faith connects us with our source and builds within us those living patterns for perfection. The energy of which faith is comprised pulls us in to conformity with those patterns. Fear, simply put, is the absence of faith.   

Life, I have found, is infinite and there is no lack of anything but fear leads us to the opposite conclusion. I have experienced the very first stage of fear in the Anomaly which is a feeling of separation. This is the result of the isolation felt by the loss of faith. Separation leads to feelings of lack which are expressed as lack of love, lack of supply, lack of friendship and lack of opportunity. Also, feelings of lack sponsor destructive behavior such as worry, greed, pride and dishonesty in all forms.

Our children are born without the ability to consciously choose between faith and fear. Although they are filled with equal amounts of each, they do not yet know how to activate one or the other. Faith being dominant will of consequence rule the child. I find early on, because we have come to believe fear is a good learning tool, we awaken it in our children even in their infancy. Through repetition we become habitually fearful and fear dependent. It has been my experience in the Anomaly that we are vibrant growing sentient life forms destined to be much more than victims of circumstance. Infinite mercy would mean very little if we could not make a miracle out of our greatest fears. The presence of fear in our lives has within it the promise of perfection through transformation.

We cannot reverse the cycle of fear by combating those things that make us afraid. Fearful as conditions may appear to be they are simply triggers that excite the fear already within us. If we wish to change we must deal with the fear itself and not only what awakened it. Although there are many expressions of fear there is only one way to combat it. The presence of faith will drive out fear and give it no place to take hold. Each time we choose faith we are filled with the energy necessary to express it, and with each expression we drive out fear from our lives. However, as I previously mentioned, in the Anomaly this energy dissipates and we must renew our acts of faith continuously. It has been my experience we can choose to or choose not to confront those things that make us afraid, but to change we must act in faith driving out those fundamental forces that make us afraid.  However, I cannot overestimate the value of meeting those conditions that excite fear in the Anomaly. Each time we confront those things that have awakened fear within us we have the opportunity to experience extraordinary acts of courage. As a result we build character and leave an indelible mark on our motivational self that lives on long after the act itself.

Feelings of separation are the sponsor of all other fears and haunt all of us in the Anomaly to one degree or the other. Fear of death, rises directly from our fear of separation and influences all of us living in the Anomaly. How we live our lives on a daily basis is influenced greatly by our attitude toward death. Life in the Anomaly is cyclical and all livings thing die.  The Anomaly exists for the benefit of our experience and not for our permanent residence. Yet, once so embodied we become so fixated on form we often dread our eventual release of it.

Death as I understand it is a transition, the same as is birth. Each is a doorway with one leading in and the other leading out.  We did not come into existence upon birth and we certainly do not cease to exist after we die. We make much preparation before stepping in to the Anomaly and the same amount before we step out. However, we are largely unaware in the Anomaly of our preparation to depart because it is conducted by our motivational self. At some point after the middle of our experience in the Anomaly, it varies with individuals, we begin to release out grip on form. We do this slowly, carefully and methodically until our experiential self is no longer fixed on form. Our experiential self is aware of something happening but has no idea what it is. Many of us gradually lose interest in things, grow closer to others and believe it is the result of a matured perspective. Maturing is a factor but in later life the experience is largely to assist our transition. We could not resume a healthy life in Home if we were still fixed on the Anomaly without the means to express those passions. For it is from Home we come, to Home we return and Home we are made of. As we prepare, ever so gradually we change internally until we take that small step to release our hold on form. If our experiential transient self were aware of these preparations fear would most likely make them exceedingly difficult.

It may appear we leave unexpectedly but that simply does not happen. No matter the circumstances surrounding our departure, our motivational self will be neither surprised nor unprepared.  We can keep no secrets from our motivational self and this part of us deals exceedingly well with potential. We witness all of the causes in our life, direct and indirect, and we can easily determine the results. For whether we are prepared to accept it or not our use of cause and effect has determined the course of future.

I have learned there are those times when our experiential self chooses to dominate and refuses direction from our mental self. When this occurs, resulting in death such as our prematurely terminating our life without sufficient preparation, our transition can become far more traumatic than necessary. However, I am certain we will eventually adjust.  The law of mercy is present always in the Anomaly to insure that no experience is more than we can handle at any given time. We may choose to ignore mercy and cut short any experience we wish. After our adjustment and recovery we are free to return to the Anomaly at any time to complete any unfinished business. I do not want to understate the difficulty experienced when our transition is made without sufficient preparation but I also do not wish to imply we will not fully recover from such a choice. I have complete faith in infinite mercy and in all eternity I have never met anyone that did not eventually adjust after returning to Home.

This final step is so small yet from an Anomaly perspective it is so large. We release our grip on form, stepping out and we are once again alive and aware in the splendor of Home. At first it is like waking up from a foggy dream being absolutely amazed by the clarity of all we behold. The feeling of freedom is indescribable while the sounds are musical, the sights are beautiful and our surroundings majestic. The fears are gone as are the limits of time and space. I can recall all of this vividly because of the Messenger’s touch but it is not common to most of us that return from a visit to the Anomaly. For those of us that may have been touched by the Messenger we can remember our experiences with a clarity never before experienced in the Anomaly.  However, we soon consign them to a dim memory because they no longer serve us well. The reason for visiting the Anomaly is to better understand our individuality so we can have a greater appreciation of our uniqueness even as we are one with all things. Once we grow there is no reason to retain these things in the forepart of our consciousness. In Anomaly terms, it would be similar to learning how to drive an automobile, once we are proficient and we have become excellent drivers it is no longer necessary to recall the individual driving lessons. Once we have internalized the uniqueness of our individuality it is no longer necessary to retain in the front of our memory the conditions that enabled this.

The joy of returning to Home is so overwhelming it is almost impossible to reconcile with the debilitating fear of death I experienced in the Anomaly. The final step out was so small and the change so large it is difficult to measure the difference in size. Yet, I am at Home and no matter how many times I venture out, no matter where my adventures take me, I will still return to its eternal embrace.

The Messenger touched my upper lip with his finger, right beneath my nose, ever so gently and suddenly I relived with incredible clarity every single thing I experienced in the Anomaly. Not only was it clearer to me now than it was then but I can remember each and every emotion I experienced. Just then the messenger vanished and I have not seen him since.